


Bitter On the Tongue

by bearlytolerable



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bi cassandra, Blurple Hawke, Canon Typical Violence, Enemies (sort of) to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fade to Black, Ficlet, Minor Angst, Mostly Fluff, Mutual Pining, and me thinking im funny, letter writing, relationship snapshots, sort of vignettes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:02:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27551989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearlytolerable/pseuds/bearlytolerable
Summary: Cassandra knew  she had no right to push. She already had this conversation with Varric. She’d unleashed all her anger on him, even took a swing at his lying little ass. But there was something in her that wasn’t satisfied. She had to know from Hawke’s perspective, needed to know the why.*supposed to be a short prompt filled back in like march but I had a bit more to tell. guess it’s better late than never*
Relationships: Female Hawke/Cassandra Pentaghast
Comments: 16
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

It was just the two of them in the late hours, sipping the remains of their tankards. Cassandra couldn’t believe that was the Champion of Kirkwall. She had always pictured the Champion as a waif of a woman, carelessly laughing as she tossed her whims to the wind. But the woman next to her was taller than her even. Broader too. And she looked like she’d gone months without sleep. Perhaps a smile once graced the lines of her beautiful face but there was an emptiness in its place now that Cassandra recognized. 

“Has something caught your eye Seeker?” Hawke asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Cassandra realized she’d been staring. She cleared her throat. “I apologize if I’m being rude. It is still hard to believe that you’re here in person. After all this time of searching. I wonder what might have been if…”

Cassandra knew she had no right to push. She already had this conversation with Varric. She’d unleashed all her anger on him, even took a swing at his lying little ass. But there was something in her that wasn’t satisfied. She had to know from Hawke’s perspective, needed to know the _why._

“I would’ve died, Seeker. Simple as that.”

“We can’t be certain of that,” Cassandra went on. 

“ _We_ can’t but _I am_.”

“But…”  
  


“No. Please. Stop.” Hawke closed her eyes and hid her face in her hands. “Just. Stop.”

Cassandra gritted her teeth. Didn’t she understand that if she’d come when asked for, there might have been more lives saved? Didn’t she know what kind of hero she was? Didn’t she even care? 

“We are all troubled by our past. Haunted by ghosts,” Cassandra said.

There was blue fire in Hawke’s eyes, a leashed rage behind the hollow tone of her voice. “Don’t fucking tell me about troubled pasts and ghosts. You don’t understand.” 

Bitterness on her tongue, she continued, “You are part of the problem. A self righteous, Templar-loving hypocrite—saying that if I had come I could've done what? Save a few people? At what cost? People _die_ Seeker and there’s no singular hero to save them all. Fuck the past and fuck ghosts. We’re here now so let’s focus on that.”

Cassandra stood corrected. She met Hawke’s heavy gaze and breathed the truth in. “You’re right. We should move forward. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you with my words, Hawke.”

“It’s Marian,” she said, extending her hand.“And let’s not do this again Seeker, okay?”

“Agreed,” Cassandra said, shaking her hand. “And please, call me Cassandra.”

“Very well.” She nodded and almost smiled. “And look, I don’t mean to just bounce on you but it’s been a rough month and if I can get five minutes of sleep in this cold-as-fuck castle I’ll be a happier woman.”

Cassandra smiled back. “No offense taken. Rest well Ha–Marian.”

  
And as she watched her go, she realized it’s never been about the _why_. It was about the _who_ and she found herself wanting more of Marian Hawke’s company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was the original prompt fill. But I wasn’t satisfied to leave it as just that.


	2. Chapter 2

It was early morning when Cassandra marched out to the courtyard, ready to train. Too early for the birds to sing and certainly too early for Marian to be standing over Cullen, the bladed end of her staff pointed at his throat. Cassandra had always been a kick ass first–take names later kind of woman and so she placed herself in front of Cullen bearing the weight of the blade.

“Move,” Marian demanded.

“No.” Cassandra stood her ground. Behind her Cullen was sighing. She could picture him rubbing the back of his neck, like he did in every slightly stressful situation.

“She has every right to be angry with me Cassandra. Let her do as she wishes,” he said.

“He thinks mages aren’t people. He shouldn’t be here. So move out of my way so I can run him into the ground.”

“I will not.” Cassandra jutted her chin out sternly, cementing her stance. 

Marian jerked her blade forward but swiftly pulled it back. A warning and a threat. Cassandra didn’t even flinch. They were at a stalemate and the blade of the staff barely lowered with a sigh. 

“Move,” Hawke commanded weakly.

Again, Cassandra said, “I will not.”

“Please. I won’t ask again.”

“Then you will have to make me.”

Hawke rested her staff on the ground, slumped her shoulders in a show of defeat.

“Fine. Have it your way.”

“Maker’s breath,” Cullen muttered.

And the wind whistled through the training yard, picking up a swirl of snow that stuck in Cassandra’s hair. 

“Are we finished?” Cassandra’s voice cut like ice.

Marian was glaring but she was backing away. “For now.”

“Cassandra, I am happy to be Hawke’s training partner if she needs to get out some frustrations,” Cullen said.

“I wouldn’t train with you, if you were the last person in the world. I want you _dead,_ ” Marian growled. 

“Marian,” Cassandra scolded and pivoted so that she could see them both. “Surely you don’t mean that?”

“You weren’t there, Cassandra. If you’d seen what he’d done–“ She cut herself off, pursed her lips closed. Cassandra could see the muscles in her jaw twitch. 

“Cullen. Go,” Cassandra said and he listened. “I know of what he did Marian, and that man knows what he did more than anyone. He loathes himself and is doing his best to right his wrongs. I’m not asking you to forgive him. But I am going to ask you to avoid him if you need to because he isn’t going anywhere.”

“I make no promises,” Marian said. “Because if he tries anything–“

“You’ll alert The Inquisitor and make sure justice is served.”

Marian huffed and walked away, taking her staff with her. Cassandra watched as she began casting, heaving fireballs at the training dummies. They lit up and she doused them with a wave of water. 

Cassandra knew she shouldn’t but she couldn’t help herself. “I’ll train with you,” she said boldly.

Water splashed in Cassandra’s face. Ran down the front of her and into her boots. It was freezing. Marian laughed and Cassandra’s heart felt lighter having heard it.

“You’ve got to watch out for us mages. We’re not people, just abominations. So you need to be on guard at all times. You’re practically dead already.” She gestured to the dripping water.

Cassandra drew her lips into a thin line, gathered her inner strength and countered with her spell purge. The water dried up all around them.

“You will have to do better than that.” And she waited for Hawke to take her up on the challenge.


	3. Chapter 3

Marian was the most devout believer in love at first sight. She could admit it even now, as she giggled through some terrible Orlesian romance novel in which the characters had experienced many of the same feelings she felt. She found no problem with that concept, it was the other bits that sent her into fits. Why were they always writing about sheathing swords and delicate flowers? Couldn’t they just say cock or fuck and move on with it? In all her life double entendres and puns didn’t make her toes curl in the slightest. It truly had her baffled. Maybe it was because Orlesians weren’t allowed to just come out and say anything. Anyway, Marian closed the book and turned to Cassandra. The true reason why she was cramming herself into the chilly upper room of the armory in the first place.

“What are you reading over there?”

Was that a blush Marian saw? 

The book slammed shut. “Nothing,” Cassandra said.

“Sure doesn’t look like nothin’,” Marian replied and she jumped up from her little corner and snatched the book out from behind Cassandra’s back before she had any time to protest.

“Well, well, well,” Marian teased with a click of her tongue, “Swords and Shields?” She cocked an eyebrow. 

Apparently they enjoyed reading the same genre, just on wholly different levels. No, take that back. Maybe just a singular level of difference. Swords and Shields might be one step above whatever that other novel she was reading was called.

“Please. Don’t tease me,” Cassandra said. “I already suffered enough from Varric and the Inquisitor earlier today.”

Marian acquiesced. Sat down next to her on the bed. With a serious tone she said. “Tell me about your favorite parts.”

It made her heart soar to see Cassandra’s face light up the way it did. She spoke of all of her favorite parts. There was so much passion for such a silly book but Marian was content to listen to her talk about it all night. She was smitten and she wasn’t afraid to admit it. Well, at least not to herself.

When Cassandra decided she had met her quota on words she was allowed to express about her favorite book, there was a happy little silence that fell between them. Then, Hawke just had to ruin it with, “have you ever been in love?”

Cassandra’s brows crinkled so much as she thought about whether she wanted to talk about it. It looked so painful that Marian reached out her hand and grasped Cassandra’s. An instinct. She half expected Cassandra to pull back or flinch or yell.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Marian said. “I can go first.”

Marian didn’t think it possible to look terrified and relieved at the same time.

“You’ve been in love?” Cassandra asked.

Was it really that unbelievable? Hawke kept her sass to herself. “Yes.” She’d never admitted it before as it was utterly embarrassing. “I loved Varric once.”

Cassandra’s eyes bulged. “But according to the book you were with each of your companions.”

Hawke snorted. “You think Varric’s book about me is accurate? He wrote that to be dramatic since my romantic relationships in Kirkwall were actually non-existent. I was in constant fear for my life, my sister’s life, my friends' lives. My libido there was in the negative.” Hawke shook her head. “Thankfully he saved me the embarrassment of putting my stupid confession to him in the book. Now we just pretend it never happened.”

Cassandra squeezed her hand then and Marian met her gaze. “Do you still love him?”

“No,” Hawke could say with certainty. She wanted to admit right then and there that she loved Cassandra. But what if it ended up in another really awkward situation? She pulled back her hand and offered an encouraging smile. “I think it’s your turn.”

“His name was Regalyan and it was a fleeting love when I was younger.”

Marian was confused. “That’s it?”

“He died at the Conclave,” she went on.

“Oh.”

“We were not lovers then. It was more of being in love with an idea that he represented. The one person who had loved me once was suddenly gone and there was nothing I could do about it. Whatever we had could never be again.”

Hawke looked down at the sad coverlet on the bed and traced her finger along the checked pattern. “I’m sorry for your loss Cassandra.”

“Thank you,” she said.

Then there was that silence that came when two people were vulnerable and they didn’t know what to do with all the feelings on the table. Finally, Hawke, unable to help herself, reached across the silent space and wrapped Cassandra in a hug. At first, she was the only one hugging and it was like hugging one of the dummies in the yard, stiff and kind of lonely. But then Cassandra’s hands lifted, her head lowered, and Marian felt her quiet breathing on her neck. Marian didn’t want to let go ever but when Cassandra started to pull back, she released her.

“This is why I prefer to talk about smutty literature,” Cassandra said.

Marian cackled.


	4. Chapter 4

Hawke had never been an elegant dancer. She stood next to Cassandra, watching the dresses and tailcoats twirl to the music. She sipped her champagne.

“I’ve never liked balls,” Cassandra remarked.

“Me neither,” Marian admitted. 

She adjusted her collar then downed the rest of her champagne and deposited it on a tray bobbing past. She plucked a new one off while the servant gave her a horrified look. She winked and lifted her glass in salute. “The drinks are terrible. At least this party involves murder. Or the potential for it anyway.”

Cassandra’s mouth dropped open. Marian used her finger to gently close it back up. Cassandra glanced away but didn’t protest to her small gesture. But she replaced her hand at her side even though Cassandra’s hand was only a smidge away from her own. Just one outstretched pinky and… 

“What? Don’t pretend you’re not wondering what the fate of the Empress will be. At the hands of The Inquisitor’s decision.” She chuckled. Kept her hands to herself. 

Then chugged half the drink. She really hated these sorts of parties. Everyone with their stupid little masks, saying their stupid little sayings all while holding their stupid little fans. 

Cassandra rolled her eyes and said, “ugh, I hate these things too. Reminds me of Nevarra. Though there will hopefully be far less walking corpses.”

Marian perked up. “Walking corpses? Now that sounds like a party. This one is a real,” she opened her mouth and let out a loud fake yawn, “ _ yawner.” _

Cassandra didn’t laugh and there were whispers rising up around them. 

“You should keep that to yourself or you might earn a target on your back. They may all be painted like peacocks but they’re still dangerous.” She kept her eyes forward, sipped from her own flute.

The bell tolled.

Marian snorted, some of her champagne going down the wrong pipe. She started coughing and Cassandra patted her back while still staring straight ahead, unaffected. Once Marian regained her composure, the bell tolled again and Florianne waltzed into the ballroom. They both keep their eyes on the woman as she began some kind of grand speech. The Inquisitor cut in and Marian elbowed Cassandra in the side. 

“Oh I think the good part is starting.”

Cassandra held a finger to her lips and shushed her. For some reason, those lips were all Marian could think about while the Orlesian drama unfolded before everyone. So when the drama simmered down and the crowd had dispersed into various places of the palace, Marian found herself out on a balcony with Cassandra, sipping another glass of Champagne and staring out at the stars. 

“I’m a terrible dancer,” she said, placing her flute on the railing, “but if you’ll have me….” she bowed with a great flourish. Cassandra held her hand to her mouth to cover her laugh. “May I have this dance, Lady Cassandra.”

“After everything that happened tonight and our discussion about loathing these parties together, you would like to dance?” 

Marian was amazed at how high Cassandra could arch a brow individually. Her right one was the one questioning her motives this evening. “Yes. Don't we deserve to celebrate just a little? Corypheus doesn’t have the chaos in Orlais that he wanted. Yet another hazardous adventure checked off the list and here we are. We’re still alive.”

Cassandra chuckled at that. Then held out her hand. “Very well. But  _ I’ll  _ take the lead. Just follow,” she said. 

Marian was more than happy to.


	5. Chapter 5

Hawke was singing some ridiculous song with Varric while Cassandra tossed and turned in her bedroll. Tomorrow they took on Adamant Fortress. Cassandra couldn’t shake the fear in the pit of her stomach. It was not death that kept her awake but that laugh and the thought of losing that laugh. She's been wanting to tell Marian about her–well everything really–but Cassandra was afraid of her answer. What if she didn’t feel the same? Then she flopped to the other side thinking, but what if tomorrow doesn’t go like they think? It was Wardens they were up against after all, the very people who took on the darkspawn when the rest of the world cowered. Not exactly what she’d describe as easy opponents.

Cassandra flipped to the other side. She groaned, muttered, and sighed.

“Ugh,” she grumbled and shut her eyes closed real tight. 

It did nothing to ease her anxieties.

Light from the campfire leaked in as the tent flap pulled back and Cassandra’s eyes flew open again.

“Who is it?” She sounded far more annoyed than welcoming.

“It’s Marian.” Her voice was so quiet. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

Cassandra sat up then, her heart suddenly pounding in her throat. “No. You didn’t wake me.”

Marian settled herself right next to Cassandra, though there was plenty of room to sit elsewhere. 

“Look, I’ve got to get something off my chest. It feels weird but if I hold it in any longer I might implode. And since, you know, we all might just  _ die _ tomorrow, I figured why the hell not just throw all caution to the wind.”

Cassandra blinked, trying to comprehend where she’s going with this.

“And you’re not even going to throw me a bone.” Marian chuckled. “Of course. Okay then.” She took a deep breath, relaxing her shoulders. “Cassandra, I have feelings for you. Really strong feelings. Like...I’m drunk on love kinds of feelings. And I don’t know…”

Cassandra didn’t know what came over her. She just did it. She kissed Hawke. Granted it was sloppy and a bit awkward. She hadn’t kissed anyone in years and she’d never kissed another woman before. But Marian kissed back all the same then pulled away and smiled. Stroked Cassandra’s cheek with just the tips of her fingers and a shiver traveled down the length of her spine. 

“Okay then. So I guess I can take that as you feel the same.”

Cassandra just nodded sort of foolishly. She didn’t know what happened to her tongue. But there was no reason to find it when Marian captured it with her own in another kiss. Cassandra was light headed, a little breathless and even though she was sitting, wondered if the world was melting beneath her. Would it swallow her whole? 

Her hands snaked their way around Marian’s waist, then up her back, pressing her closer. Cassandra hadn’t even had time to wonder if her lips were too dry or if her breath still smelled like druffalo jerky before she realized that Hawke certainly didn’t seem to care.

The tent flap opened again with Varric’s loud laugh.

Cassandra pulled away from Marian so fast, blushing furiously, that she had no idea what to do with her hands. She ended up balling her blanket in her fists. 

Varric saw them both and as the situation registered for him, he said, “oh, I’ll see myself back out.”

Marian was chuckling but looking at Cassandra in a way that made her wonder if she was on fire.

“Is he going to write that into one of his books?” Cassandra asked to break the unnecessary tension in the air.

Marian laughed. “Probably. Does that bother you?”

Cassandra paused, biting her lower lip. Then she glanced back at Marian, scooting closer so that she could hold her face in her hands. “No. Tonight, there’s no regrets.”

Marian pressed her forehead to Cassandra’s and smiled gently. “No regrets.”   


Then she kissed her again.


	6. Chapter 6

Hawke almost hated herself for volunteering to be an agent of The Inquisition after the events of Adamant. But she’d be damned if she went with Stroud to Weisshaupt. Dumbass Wardens could sort themselves out. She was grateful for their services, no doubt, but Corypheus was her priority and she wanted to see that fucker fall. She wanted to be the one to make him if she could. However, she hadn’t thought it through when she’d offered up her services. 

The Inquisitor had sent her to aid the Blades of Hessarian. These people were the weirdest religious zealots she’d ever met and she was forced to help them restore a port of all things. Which would have been easy if they weren’t constantly getting held up by darkspawn. Apparently Marian should’ve brought Stroud with her here rather than sending him off to Weisshaupt. 

After a long days work, she threw herself onto her bedroll. With hair sopping wet and the pads of her fingers all pruny, Marian dipped her quill in ink and started scrawling on a piece of parchment. It was the only thing that could make her day any better. She summoned a pigeon and sent it off to Cassandra. Then she slept, hoping tomorrow would be better.

* * *

Cassandra had just finished asking The Inquisitor advice about her potential future. Should she pursue Divine leadership or rebuild The Seekers of Truth? The Inquisitor had simply told her to trust her gut. Which was the exact opposite of helpful advice. The letter dropped into her hands just as she was about to make her way to the courtyard to start hitting things. Thank the Maker, she had something better to do.

She tore off the ribbon and unfurled the letter.

_ Dearest Cassandra, _

_ I absolutely hate it here. Worse than the fucking fade. It’s freezing and wet and you’d think what would have taken maybe a week to accomplish would be done already and I could see your face again, but no. There’s fucking darkspawn EVERYWHERE. Darkspawn! I should have dragged Stroud’s ass out here rather than let him stay back and fight that demon for us. I don’t see how building a port out here on the Storm Coast is helping thwart Corypheus’ plans either. I’m beginning to think The Inquistor doesn’t trust me to do useful tasks and just wants me out of the way. Or maybe all this water is making my head completely soggy. You should see my pruney fingers as I write to you. Wretched shriveled sausages. I should still like to hold your face with them though and kiss your warm lips. Anyway, I miss you constantly and I do hope you’ll write to me soon (though I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t after all my wailing). _

_ Yours, _

_ Marian _

_ PS if you do write, could you also send me a pair of fresh socks. My last good pair got a hole in them and now both my big toes are freezing. Wouldn’t want them to fall off. _

Cassandra was grinning. She read the letter again and again and again. After the fifth time, she got started on the reply. Writing letters seemed so romantic but in truth, she’d much rather have Hawke here in person. Just when they’d finally been brave enough to admit their feelings, Marian had been shipped off to the Storm Coast. What dumb luck they seemed to have. 

Cassandra finished writing then wandered back to the main hall in search of Josephine. She was the most likely to take pity on Marian’s situation. She was also the one most capable of finding a decent pair of socks. Of course, Josephine was in her chair per usual, just outside the war room.

“I have a favor to ask you,” Cassandra said, leaning on her desk.

“Well whatever it is must be rather important. To forego even a single greeting is unlike you Lady Cassandra.” Josephine was giving her a very kind smile. It made Cassandra feel a bit guilty.

“Forgive me. Good morning Josephine, how are you?” Cassandra asked, starting over. 

Josephine seemed pleased with that. “Quite well, though very busy. Is there something I can help you with?”

“Could you find me a pair of new socks that are sturdy and in excellent condition?”

Josephine tilted her head. “Let me get this straight, you want me to fetch you a pair of socks?”

Cassandra nodded fervently. It should be an easy task. “Yes.”

“O—kay.” Josephine was looking at her as if it were some kind of joke.

Cassandra sighed then prattled on about Hawke’s situation at the Storm Coast. Josephine nodded along, finally coming to an understanding.

“Actually, while I’m thinking of it, if you’re able to find more than one pair to send, I think it would help a great deal,” Cassandra tacked on.

“Very well. It is done.” She began scratching letters into parchment again and Cassandra took that as her dismissal.

“Thank you,” she said, before exiting back into the hall.

* * *

The port was nearly finished. Marian’s feet were nearly dry. Though the skies were still dark and rather pissy looking, it had nearly stopped raining. Things were really looking up. She stopped for a lunch break, chatting with one of the Blades who called herself Petunia. But to be honest, she had zoned out halfway through her lecture about sharpening her sword and didn’t snap out of it until Petunia was waving a new letter in her face.

“Helloooo, is anyone in there,” Petunia said. She waved the letter like a fan and Marian tucked back her messy bangs before snatching the letter from her.

Petunia seemed mildly offended when Hawke took off without a single thanks. She found a large piece of driftwood to sit on near the shore and traced Cassandra’s words with her fingers. She was dying to return to Skyhold. What a hilarious thought.

_ Dear Marian, _

_ It is wonderful to hear from you. I’d read ten thousand of your complaints if it meant you were alive and well and closer to coming home. I sound foolish don’t I?” _

“Not at all”, Hawke said aloud. She had a happy tear in her eye. She read on.

_ I’d be more than happy to send you a pair of socks and if there is anything else I can send you, please don’t hesitate to let me know. I want to tell you how much I miss you but I fear I won’t find the right words. I almost asked Varric to help me. Can you imagine? _

Marian laughed. She could imagine. Varric would never let her live that down and he’d certainly include something vulgar and/or something so  _ not _ Cassandra that it would hardly feel like a letter from her at all. 

She chose wisely. The letter continued:

_ Instead you must put up with me and what I have to offer. I am doing well here. I just spoke with the Inquisitor about my future pursuits but she was not helpful. Perhaps the Maker will help direct my path some other way. Until then, I will be praying you remain safe. _

_ Yours always, _

_ Cassandra  _

Future pursuits? Marian had no idea what she was talking about. She wrote an immediate response and sent it asap. Hopefully none of those future plans excluded her. Suddenly, the rain started to pour and lightning lit up the sky.

“Andraste’s blasted tits,” she swore as she ran for cover. 

* * *

Marian had written back that her socks arrived. But she didn’t say much else in her letter and that made Cassandra worried.

“Inquisitor please,” Cassandra was chasing her all around the courtyard. 

“I already told you no. Hawke will be fine. I need you in the Arbor Wilds, you're my best sword.”

Cassandra was starting to regret not making herself The Inquisitor. “She was supposed to be back by now. In her letters…”

The Inquisitor cut her off. “I don’t care about what she said in her letters. You’re not going. We leave by end of week for the wilds. There’s no way you could get there and back on time.”

“Wouldn’t it be to your benefit if Hawke joined us? Perhaps the Blades of Hessarian as well?”

The Inquisitor ran a palm down her exasperated face. “If I tell you yes, you’ll have to sod off with the advice about that Divine shit. Do we have a deal?”

Cassandra nodded fervently. “You have a deal.”

“Then you better hurry.”

Cassandra broke into a smile. “Thank you Inquisitor,” she said. That was easier than she expected, Cassandra thought as she sent for a carriage. The Inquisitor would have a terrible time if she were to ever have children.

* * *

They were done. Finally after four fucking weeks. Marian was resolved to never say yes to The Inquisitor ever again. She plopped down on the edge of the dock, eating a smashed sandwich that Petunia had offered. Together they ate in silence, watching the angry waves wrestle up against the shore.

“Have you heard from the Lady Cassandra?” Petunia asked.

Marian didn’t understand why people couldn’t just sit in silence. Was it really so hard just to be in someone else’s company without talking? 

“No.” 

“Do you think she’s alright? Petunia was not phased by short answers apparently.

“Yes.” Marian chomped her sandwich. That seemed to shut Petunia up. Marian breathed deep then swallowed.

“Do you miss her?” 

If the water wasn’t so choppy, she might have shoved Petunia off the dock. But she wasn’t annoyed enough to want to risk the woman’s life. 

“No. Why would I miss the woman I loved?” Marian bit into her sandwich again.

“You… love me?” 

Marian’s sandwich went flying. It splashed into the sea as Petunia gasped. “Lady Cassandra,” she exclaimed.

Marian thought she’d gone mad and she slipped on the wet dock as she tried to get up. But Cassandra grabbed her before she was a lost cause like her sandwich. Marian steadied herself by grasping Cassandra’s shoulders. Then she pressed her gloved hands to the sides of her face. “It’s really you.”

“Yes. Who else would I be? Are you drunk?” Cassandra asked, the disapproval written all over her face.

Hawke could see Petunia grinning at them from the edge of the dock. “Do you mind?” She jerked her head and Petunia scrambled to her feet. She took off without another word.

“No. I—well I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

“I hope that’s okay. I hadn’t considered that you may not want me here.”

“What? No, that’s not what I’m saying. Of course I’m glad you’re here! It was just unexpected. A very welcome, very wanted surprise,” Marian reassured.

That small smile returned to Cassandra’s face. “Did you mean it? What you said—that you love me?”

“I had planned a much more romantic way of telling you but yes, I do love you. I have loved you since the day I saw you to be exact.”

“The day you saw me? How could that be possible? You were so angry with me.”

“I didn’t stay angry with you. It was a bad night for me and you knew all the wrong—or right buttons to push I suppose.”

Cassandra kissed her then, just once, very graciously on the lips. “For what it’s worth, I love you too.”

The rain picked up again but Hawke didn’t care. She wanted nothing more than to make out with the love of her life in the worst weather of the worst place in the whole world. Well maybe except to make out with her on a warm beach somewhere nice, but she’d save that for a future date.


	7. Chapter 7

They’d put off the discussion until after the defeat of Corypheus but now that he was gone, the sister was back and she wanted an answer. Cassandra still didn’t have one.

“You have one more day,” the sister warned. 

Cassandra buried her face in her hands. She was at a loss. She didn’t hear Marian come in. Was only startled when she felt her hands on her shoulders. She groaned as the tension eased up.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Marian asked. She kissed the back of her neck.

“You make it sound so easy,” Cassandra replied.

“No. I’m not saying it’s easy. Just letting you know I’m here if you want to hash it out. You know, list off the pros and cons. I know what I want but I’m not going to let that stand in the way of your future.”

“And what do you want?” 

Marian massaging away. “You of course, I thought that answer was obvious.”

Cassandra let out a disgruntled sigh. “Do you mean it doesn’t matter what I choose?”

“Oh it matters,” said Hawke. “It matters to you. Choose what will make you most happy.”

“I don’t want to choose anything that would make me lose you,” Cassandra admitted. “I cannot excuse what the Seekers have done but I do believe I could make them better. As for Divine… I want the position but it comes with so much more duty. I don’t know when I’d get the chance to see you if I chose that path.”

“Forget about me for a moment,” Hawke said. “Just picture you as Lord Seeker Pentaghast for a moment then picture yourself as Divine for a moment. Finally, picture yourself continuing the other you’ve already taken, Left Hand of the Divine. Which at this point is probably going to be Leliana if you don’t take the job. Which picture makes you most happy?”

Cassandra closed her eyes. Then she reached for Hawke, pulling her down to kiss her. “You. Just you,” she said.

Marian broke their kiss, pulling back Cassandra’s chair. She came around the front and sat down in her lap, kissing her neck while undoing her buttons. 

“I promise you’ll have me, no matter what you choose,” she whispered into her collarbone. 

A barely audible groan was all Cassandra managed.

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

With the Inquisition now disbanded, Hawke and Cassandra could breathe with a bit more ease. Though the news The Inquisitor brought back was terrifying, they still relished in the time they had until Solas was hunted or he decided to bring the veil down. In either case, there wasn’t much that either of them could do about it in the moment.

They stood smooshed together, Hawkes arm draped around Cassandra’s shoulder as fireworks lit up the sky. They had stopped for a few days in Skyhold to say their final goodbyes to the members of The Inquistion. Dagna had set off a wonderful display for them all. Hawke popped a fizzing sour candy in her mouth and offered one to Cassandra. 

“For some reason I feel that only the first chapter of our story has been written,” Marian said. 

Cassandra sighed. “Maker, don’t say that.”

Hawke skimmed her hand down Cassandra’s arm, took her hand in her own and turned to face her. Then she kneeled, pulled out a ring and said, “Cassandra, will you do me the honor and write the next chapter of our lives with me?”

Cassandra was speechless but then her face broke into a smile. “Yes!” Then she laughed as she pulled out her own ring and held it out. “I’m not as clever as you. I wanted to simply ask, will you marry me? Though, I had planned to do it after the fireworks.”

Marian jumped to her feet. “Yes, yes I’ll marry you.” They both laughed as they put each other’s rings on. 

“Maker your beautiful,” Hawke said as she pulled Cassandra into her arms.

“I love you, Marian,” Cassandra said then. The fireworks bursting in the reflection of her eyes. 

“I love you too,” Marian replied.

Then they kissed and kissed and kissed as the night went on.

* * *

Later when they had returned to their room, undressed for the evening and ready for bed Marian noticed Cassandra seemed downcast. She scooted closer to her, stroking her cheek as she asked, “what’s wrong love?”

“For some reason I keep thinking of Anthony, my brother.”

Marian kept herself from laughing. “Your fiancé is lying naked next to you and you think of your brother?”

Cassandra flushed. “That does sound questionable.” She grimaced. 

Marian encouraged her to go on. “I’m sorry. What did you mean to say?”

“I only meant that I wish he was here. I’d want him to be at our wedding.”

Marian sighed, pulling Cassandra into her chest and rubbing her back. “I know what you mean. Garret was a pain in my ass but I would’ve loved to see his stupid grin when he met you.”

“You never speak of your twin,” Cassandra said.

“And you never speak of Anthony. I always assumed we just had an understanding.”

“We do,” Cassandra said, “but if you want to speak of him, it would be my pleasure to listen.”

“I’m sure you read all about his sacrifice in The Tale of the Champion.” Marian brushed it off. “Besides, Carver and Bethany will be there. I can be thankful for that. Though, I am truly sorry Anthony will not.”

“It’s enough to know he would have been proud.”

Marian smiled as she kissed the top of her head. The Cassandra lifted her face to hers. They melted into a soft kiss but it grew heated the more they stuck with it. Hawke’s hands pressed into the scarred skin of her back and then Cassandra was trailing kisses down her neck and across her breasts. Marian sucked in a sharp breath.

“Are you alright?” Cassandra’s head popped up, concern etched in the crinkle of her eyes. 

Marian laughed. “I’m more than alright. Please. Do continue.”

Cassandra smirked. Returned to her kissing, leaving a path of desperate aching all the way down to Marian’s thighs. Marian lay back and closed her eyes, sinking into bliss and the idea of what her forever would be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
